i have a confession to make..
well, it is a bit hard for me..but i guess there is no better time than the here and now..it's just that the future seems a bit distant..bleak..and somehow a little too much to handle..i am starting to get scared because, for the very first time in my 27 years on earth, i can't see it clearly..
my life has been a lot different..well, i am a bit different..i don't know but when i try to look back, i was the careful thinker and planner..i was always at the safe side..so i would always plan out carefully what my life would be like..and even if i changed course a bit too much, i always managed to come out on top of my league..because i know exactly where i am going..but, i guess, not anymore..
i am kind of stuck right now..i have in front of me two winding roads..both dark and tempting..and i hate myself for not having the courage i need to make a choice..well, i still know what i want..i still want to believe i am getting there..but i felt odd..the same feeling u have when you go for something that has been programmed in your mind for so long and then BOOOOMMM!!! all of a sudden it feels so wrong and then now your not even sure you are doing the right thing..i feel so much like a mess..
what i need right now is a strong gut feeling that it can overpower the ever so careful me..i just hate compromises! but at the same i wanna love 'em, too, you know.. i just don't understand me at all..so much for my 20 something dilemma..or is this already the midlife crisis?..i'd go figure!
well, it is a bit hard for me..but i guess there is no better time than the here and now..it's just that the future seems a bit distant..bleak..and somehow a little too much to handle..i am starting to get scared because, for the very first time in my 27 years on earth, i can't see it clearly..
my life has been a lot different..well, i am a bit different..i don't know but when i try to look back, i was the careful thinker and planner..i was always at the safe side..so i would always plan out carefully what my life would be like..and even if i changed course a bit too much, i always managed to come out on top of my league..because i know exactly where i am going..but, i guess, not anymore..
i am kind of stuck right now..i have in front of me two winding roads..both dark and tempting..and i hate myself for not having the courage i need to make a choice..well, i still know what i want..i still want to believe i am getting there..but i felt odd..the same feeling u have when you go for something that has been programmed in your mind for so long and then BOOOOMMM!!! all of a sudden it feels so wrong and then now your not even sure you are doing the right thing..i feel so much like a mess..
what i need right now is a strong gut feeling that it can overpower the ever so careful me..i just hate compromises! but at the same i wanna love 'em, too, you know.. i just don't understand me at all..so much for my 20 something dilemma..or is this already the midlife crisis?..i'd go figure!
